Sunday, May 9, 2010

Mother's day

This day has always held a little sadness for me. When I was growing up, my mother refused to let us celebrate it or do anything for her. That was just the way she was, her b-day was the same. By the time I became a mother, I had also lost my own. So each year, though I adore my babies, I have just a little twinge that I never had a mother to buy flowers or a card for. I never had anyone to take out for a special lunch or all that stuff that seems to go on. I did have a dear friend for several year I bought a card for. We fell out of touch a while back though.

Still, my children did their best to make today special for me, and they did very well. Miri got up and made me breakfast, A.J. is still asleep but she assured me she had pictures she drew for me, and O made me a lovely stepping stone with his name and hand print engraved. Andy even came over and wants to eat lunch just the two of us some time this week. So all in all, I'd say my kiddos made me feel very special and loved.

However, my heart still hurts a little as I think about O's mother. I think about all she is missing and wonder if she just puts it out of her mind, or if mother's day causes her pain. I wish their was some way for me to tell her what a wonderful little boy our son is. I wish she knew that he gives the best kisses and hugs around. His laughter could cheer the saddest day, and his heart is bigger than anyone I know. More than all of that, I wish she knew that someone across the world held her in their prayers and loves her very much. Whether intentional or not, she gave me a pretty amazing gift.

Happy mother's day to all those mommas out there. Whether you have your babies near, whether they appreciate you, or whether you can squeeze them anytime you want, being a mother is the most precious of all things. Only a mother could admit to the courts that she wanted another chance to raise her son but knew he was better off being adopted. Only a mother would give up every dream she had to fly across the world and bring her son home. Only a mother would become a woman at the age of 17 and raise a child no one thought she could. Only a mother would make her daughter promise at the age of 12 to finish raising her brother when his mother was gone. Only a mother would put a child's needs before her own and do it gladly. Being a mother comes at a great price, and to do it well, it takes everything a woman has. No one writes the rule book, and it takes about 18 years to perfect the task and then it does not even seem like it's half way done. Hug your babies and thank God for them. They are only little for a small time.

1 comment:

  1. What a beautiful post! Don't feel badly about not "doing stuff" for your mother on her birthday or Mother's Day. My mom is the same way - and I realize I'm the same way, too (which is a good thing because one of my adopted ones finds mother's day troubling).... In any case, it is the OTHER 363 days of the year, when doing something special for your mom, and telling her you love her really COUNTS because there is no societal expectation to do it.