For her

Dear Kristiina,

Today our son turned 6 years old. I promised not to think of you until the sun went down. I wanted no sadness to mar his perfect day. As the sun began to set, my thoughts drifted to you, and I hoped that wherever you were that you were happy. I wished there was some way for you to know how wonderful today was for little Oskar. He laughed, he jumped, we sang to him, and it was everything he wanted his birthday to be. Maybe one day you will seek out info on perfect O, and maybe you'll find this letter floating through space and time and know that he is happy. Each day I give him everything I have, and I hug him twice as hard, so maybe it will be enough for both of us. Please know that for every tear you might have spilled, I probably cried along side of you. BUT I laugh harder too, I fight stronger, and I break all the rules. I do everything it takes to make sure that Oskar has what he needs, some of what he wants, and is always loved. Kristiina, he is so happy and taken care of. He goes on holidays, he swims underwater so well, and he runs and plays all the time. He is full of energy, and he is healthy and strong. His eyes are the most beautiful blue I have ever seen, and he is full of love. He has this huge imagination. He can take a piece of string and make a toy out of it. He believes that dinosaurs are real, gets excited every time he sees a star, and thinks that when the crickets chirp they are playing music. Oskar is full of life, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for giving him his start. Please know you are always in my thoughts, and I wish only the best for you.

Shea