So much to blog about, but I am too lazy to do it. The kids did have a wonderful Christmas. Everyone was excited to see what Santa brought. I'll have to post pictures soon. On another note, I am about to have my tubes tied. I have finally made the decision that my family is complete now, but I still feel a little sad thinking about it. I think I'll feel much better after it is done though! I go for my appt to talk about it next week. I am so fortunate. I always said I wanted 1 kid or 4. With Andy in our family that gives me 4 kiddos, and I think that is a lovely number. I am blessed to have such wonderful kids.

Pictures later

Christmas was wonderful! O was amazed by his stocking and the chocolate in it. He did not even seem to notice his bicycle. He got a little play mouse that he adored and carries everywhere. He went around telling everyone that his stuff was his! A.J. got a little play computer and several toys and clothes. She was very sweet though she told me she asked Santa for a pink computer instead of a green one. I told her Santa did the best he could considering there were NO pink ones to be found that had Spanish lessons on them like the green one. Miro loved all her clothes but made a point of telling us that her lamp would not match her decor. She is still a princess. Andy slept over and loved his gift cards and clothes. Oh, on Christmas eve we went to Olive Garden. I think we have a new family tradition!

Dear Oskar,

It's been a long time since Momma wrote you a letter. I have to admit, I enjoy being able to say all those things to you that I wrote for the last 18 months, but I think one day you will enjoy looking back and reading about the journey to bring you home. Still, with everything I am able to give you and say to you, there is even more you don't understand. So I thought it was time to write you again so you would know all that is in my heart.

First of all, you are amazing. You are everything I thought you would be and more. I knew you would come to America and talk us all by storm, and you have. You are energetic, happy, and passionate about everything. You are still refusing to say a lot in English, but I knew you would from the very beginning. My son lives on his own terms, and I know when you are ready you will tell me all you want to say. You already do in Eeesti.

You are brave! I've already seen you endure much more than you should, but you have no hard feelings. You go right up to the lab tech who stuck you and give her a hug and kiss. I promise, one day we will finally get caught up on all of these immunizations, and you won't have to be stuck so much. Still, you hang in there with me and roll with the punches, and I am so proud of you.

You still rock yourself to sleep, and I'd give anything for you to let me do instead. I know it will come though. You waited 5 years for a mother. I figure it's the least I can do to wait 5 years for you. So I am giving you time, and I am trying not to push.

You love, oh how you love. Whether it's screaming with joy when we come home, or it's the way you look in the rear view mirror at me and smile, I know that you love us. It gets me through the hardest days when I know how happy you are and that you love us like we love you.

In case I forget to tell you, thank you for being born, and thank you for being patient with me. I am still learning how to be your mother, and I know sometimes I don't always get it right. You didn't come with an instruction book, and I am pretty much winging it. Still, with each day I wake up to that smile, I know I can conquer anything, and I know even more that God loves me because he gave me you.

Momma

Blessed

Reading about other's issues in the countries they are adopting from has me thinking back to my time in Estonia. I have to say we were truly blessed. Everyone we encountered was kind and helpful. Our neighbor allowed us to buy internet from him. We had no issues shopping. Most people spoke English and those who did not were still helpful and kind. People did seem a little surprised that we were adopting a child, but our son was treated wonderfully by everyone we encountered. Even when he did not act his best, people did not look down on us or him. It was a whole new world for him, so there were many times he reached out to touch things and sometimes even threw a few tantrums when overstimulated. We felt safe the entire time. We took taxis and most of them charged us what they said they would. We also walked and took the bus a good deal of the time. We had no issues with any of it, nor has any family that I know of who adopted from Estonia. The only issue we had was that things were very expensive, but like any place, you learn where things are cheaper. We found a very affordable Hungarian rest. to eat at that was right down the street from our apt. The 20% sales tax on everything hurt the most, but we found that all the summer stuff was on clearance, so we were able to pic up a few little things that were affordable. We had a nice trip and Estonia is a really nice place to travel to. We hope to go back one day, hopefully when it's warmer.

We had such a good time this a.m. We had breakfast with Santa and did some crafts. O loves Santa and the girls had fun too. A.j. had a long talk with him and told him everything she wanted. She also asked Mrs. Claus what she liked best about her job! The other pics are from the weekend after Thanksgiving when we had fun with friends.

Amazed that my friends are so much more to me than so called family will ever be.

Blessed beyond belief. Here I sit in my home. We are broker this Thanksgiving than any I can remember. For the 1st time in 13 years I won't be doing black Friday sales. The ice maker is broken, the washer is about to go out any day. Hey, we have had it for 12 years!! My back is....not good. So what? I am happier this Thanksgiving than any in my life. I have an oven full of food, my kids are healthy and safe, and my husband is right here beside me. I am warm, my belly is already full, and my beautiful oldest daughter is pulling out all the stops and helping me cook everything because she knows I need help. She even bathed the dog. Hubby is even taking out the trash!! My son knows circle, triangle, and square and IN ENGLISH. My youngest daughter cleaned her room yesterday. It only took her 3 days to finish it. Andy is coming to dinner later with a new girl he is dating. He seems more content. Life is good!

You too can adopt

One of the things I hear most frequently is that people can't afford to adopt. You have to understand though, there are lots of things/ways to make it happen. It took 18 months for our adoption, so we had some time to play with, more than some. Still, it is possible. Most people don't talk about the cost, unless it related to fund raising.I understand it offends some people to be asked, but I have never been one of those types of people. I have no issues with talking about the cost because maybe more people will see that adoption is really doable. Of course everyone has their ways, and some people were definitely able to raise more money than we were.

First of all, I estimate the cost of our adoption to be around $17,000, and when we started we had NOTHING saved. The 1st couple of costs involved were USCIS(immigration). We paid them around $1400. Next was the homestudy, and it was $900. They allowed us to pay it over 2 months. Our agency did our adoption at cost, so the actual fee was very low. Still, it probably took me over a year to pay it off. The translation(before and in country) ended up costing about $2100. Little by little we paid on that over the last 18 months. Then there was the in country fee which was $3500, and we received a grant from gift of adoption to pay for that.

I know I am leaving things out like air fare. It was around $2600. We took out a loan to cover that. There are also additional fees like in country fees which were about $2200 counting food. We paid for passports for ourselves and lots of appostile fees for documents. BUT keep in mind currently there is a $12,150 tax credit for adoptions. So knowing this and that our adoption would be final this year, we played with numbers, and we lowered the tax money being taken out of our checks, and that is how we paid for everything. That's is not what some people would do, but we knew what our liabilities were and we knew we could make it work. We also received a $520 grant from reecesrainbow. We sold popcorn, did car washes, and we sold on ebay too. So, after the tax credit, we figure we will only be out of pocket for this adoption a few thousand dollars. Now THAT is doable for almost anyone!!!

Why adopt?

Thought I'd do a recap of some stuff for people who did not read my private blog.

Well there are so many reasons! The first one was because I wanted too, plain and simple. However, there are many reasons. I always knew from the time I was little I would adopt one day. My Gida(my grandmother) was adopted from an orphanage when she was age 4. So when I grew up, wait, have I grown up yet?!, I patiently waited for God to send his signs. One day on downsyn.com, I stumbled across a link to reecesrainbow.com, and before I knew it, I was looking at pics of little boys. They were all perfect, but nothing really fell into place. I could not work the details out, and we decided to wait one more year. Then O's picture was posted. It was all uphill(sorry down hill would be a lie lol) from there on out. We had found our son, and I took on everything possible to bring him home. It took almost 18 months from start to finish! It was time well spent though. I think we all needed to grow up, and God worked hard preparing our home and heart for O. So that's it. That is the story of how our family came to be. I have no idea if our family is done. We may or may not adopt again. We may choose to have a bio child. Who knows. God decided what happens in this family. So we wait to see how our lives evolve!

Last night it happened. While I was lying on the couch with A.J., O came over and wanted to cuddle too! He even reached over and gave me a kiss. He is always sweet, but he has never wanted to really be held. He is a big boy, and he wants to let you know it. There is not much babying him that goes on. Still, I did not want to push, so I waited, and he came to me. Last night I knew for sure that everything was going just the way it needed to be. It was such a good day and evening. I have never seen such joy come from a child. The lights brought amazement. He gets so excited that he squeals and hops up and down. Then he giggles until you think he will cry. Pure joy. Everything new makes him so happy. To finish the night, Daddy snuck away and went out to bring back cupcakes and ice cream. I almost cried when he saw the cupcakes. He was so happy he couldn't keep the giggles and laughter in. I hope though I don't paint a perfect picture. We have our meltdowns and sometimes tears, but they fade quickly, and then he flashes that smile, and I know that EVERYTHING is worth it. I know that my son is home, and my family feels complete. I know that we are exactly how we were always meant to be. The little stuff just does not bother me. It all fades away. When I walk into the room and see him and A.J. cuddled up, or him hand in hand with Miranda, it makes my heart feel so good. When Andy came home this morning, hearing O be so surprised and happy just makes everything perfect.

Check this out!

http://jeremiahspromisejohn1418.blogspot.com/2009/09/please-donate-and-win-50-target-gift.html


My friend is doing a fundraiser for her adoption. You can enter to win a $50 target gift card which would be handy for xmas!!!

We are still doing really well! O has gone to school to eat with his sisters for lunch Monday and Tues. He enjoyed it very much but was a little scared by the bell lol. Attachment is going great. We have still had no potty accidents. He sleeps in his own bed like a big boy and sleeps through the night. So far he eats everything but red and green things with the exception of tomatoes and cucumbers. The girls are doing great and have gotten quite fond of their little brother. A.J. is her own little being and I love her to pieces. She is trying to teach O not to throw things and Miri is just plain spoiling him rotten. Both girls are glad their momma is back, and we are all looking forward to the holidays.

Wendy Loot

Oskar's former name was Oskar Loot, pronounced Lot not Loot like we do. Now he has named our dog Wendy Loot with Loot being pronounced the way we do. Don't know what it means but now Wendy has a last name lol. He is up bright eyed and bushy tailed and just came in my room and told me in Eesti that he is looking for the little white dog and Wendy Loot.

Details lol

I forgot those huh? Well, the whole plane ride over O decided he would not sleep until the very last hour and third plane. He also insisted on rolling my suitcase through all 3 airports because he loves his momma. After we stepped off the plane our family was waiting at the luggage claim. Coming down the escalator all I could see was A.J.'s feet, the most beautiful sight in the world. guess I thought he would be overwhelmed, but if there is one thing about O, it is that he surprises you. He ran right up to his sisters and was sooooo excited. He pulled out his photo album and started saying, "HEY" and pointing to pictures of each of the girls. You could see it start connecting in his little mind. We then went to get our bag and he took off ahead with one hand in each of his sisters. I don't think he worried about me at all lol. Usually he won't let me out of his sight. The entire ride home he held hands with A.J. and would stroke her hair and kiss her. The chattered and talked the entire time. I thought he would fall asleep because by this time he had basically been up for 24 hours, but it was not to be. He was running on excitement. We had a 1 hour 15 minute drive home and he enjoyed looking on the window and pointing to things. Afterwards we collapsed into bed!!